Why Milky O Awesomeway has been banned from PJO
by Milk of Awesomeness
Summary: Why I, Milky O. Awesomeway, have been banned from writing Fanfiction by Perseus Jackson himself. 100 scenarios that are all-around awkward for everyone. The challenge? Now matter how random things get, I must keep this as canon as I can otherwise Percy might decide to kill me as well. Now if only if I could stop referencing my past stories... In other words, I'm already screwed.
1. Prolouge

***I do attest that these character memes were done by random selection. None of the characters in the following 100 scenarios were chosen on purpose for the sake of the scenario. I did a lot of different memes with a bunch of different characters, but these were the best 100. **

**Some of the questions chosen came from number replacement memes meant only for OC's, but I really wore out the ones for canon char. or for OC and Canon char. both, so I was stuck with those. ***

The lights flickered in the Artemis cabin. The demigods looked up in confusion. Percy, Annabeth, and Nico ran to the cabin, very confused why someone was in there. Jason, Piper, and Leo followed them. Rachel walked over as well. She found it suspicious.

Annabeth opened the door slowly, closely followed by Piper. Rachel ran past the boys, who had wisely chosen to stand around outside.

As the three girls ventured inside, they found a girl about thirteen **(1) **wearing a silver parka. She had light blue eyes and long hair as white and silky as milk.

"I, Milky Awesomeway, Hunter of Artemis, allow the boys to enter." A ripple ran through the doorway, causing Percy's eyebrows to raise. So the Artemis cabin did have Boy Barriers. Huh.

Nico ran through the doorway and did the last they Percy expected. "Milky!" The usually brooding boy excitedly exclaimed. "What are you doing at camp?"

"I remember you." Jason said. "Vaguely, but I do recall seeing you before. Weren't you the one who made everyone choose sides between Jasper and Jiper?"

The girl widened her eyes and subtly bit her lip, choosing her words carefully. "Er, no. That was a misunderstanding between Eros and Aphrodite." Her voice forced Jason to believe her. It was mysteriously similar to charmspeak, but it didn't give the exact same effects.

"Who's your friend?" Annabeth asked Nico.

"This is Milky Awesomeway, daughter of Apollo**, **Hunter of Artemis. I'm not very big on the Hunters, but Milky's cool."

Percy grinned at her. "So, Milky." He tried not to laugh at her name. "What brings you here."

Milky slyly smiled. "I am here on a mission for Lord Hermes. Olympus was very bored and wanted a new show for Hephaestus TV, and yes, in case you were wondering, demigod quests are a regular. You guys have the best ratings! Anyway, I am here to throw the lot of you and your other friends in 100 different scenarios. Who I pick is random, and be warned: sometimes the randomness gets a bit too random for my liking. Hopefully, you don't kill me when this is over."

The demigods and Rachel started to protest, but it was too late. Milky had disappeared in a cloud of white smoke, leaving behind a spoiled milk scent, causing the children to gag.

"How can she do this?" Piper asked Nico. "And what scenarios?"

Annabeth spoke. "A number replacement meme. It's the only answer."

"What's that?" Asked Nico.

"It's when you write twelve, ten, five, fifteen, or six names–depending on the version-and number them one through whatever. Then go through a list of scenarios that have numbers as placeholders for people and replace the number with the corresponding person."

"But how do we…" Jason started to ask, but a black hole appeared and sucked the children up. Nico noticed that the black hole was too white to be truly black… it was the color of…milk. He was so going to kill Milky when he had the chance.

**1. No, I'm not thirteen. I'm older than that. My self-insert is thirteen because according to the Titan's Curse, before Thalia joined the hunt the oldest hunters physically were fourteen. How much older I am than that is info that will not divulge. **


	2. Meme 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or these questions. I only own my writing skills.**

* * *

**Meme Result 1. "Percy and Nico reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by Jason's sinister secret organization. Frank volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he is actually a spy for Jason. Meanwhile, Jason has kidnapped Leo in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of Hazel, they seek out Annabeth, who gives them what they need to complete their quest."**

* * *

Jason laughed manically. He had joined Gaea's forces and now had a sinister organization called Grace's Evil Inc. He would come up with a better name later, but the boy wanted to decide on what his evil organization would do first.

He decided that it would make sense to kidnap Leo. All evil villains needed a nemesis, and kidnapping Leo would be the easiest way to do this. It wasn't very hard to kidnap the boy, but now he just needed a cage that was unbreakable, at least unbreakable by Leo. Now _that_ was the hard part.

It took Jason a while to figure out a plan. He sacrificed to Aphrodite, and prayed as well, asking her for unbreakable ropes for a… certain matter. He knew the goddess would misunderstand him, thinking that it would have _something_ to do with her daughter, his "girlfriend." He was just glad that she approved of him tying Piper up, because other he would never had gotten the rope that would only able to be cut by Jason's sword.

* * *

Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel all looked at Percy for an answer. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said. "We have to rescue Leo. You are the most powerful demigod here. Therefore, I thought you could do it, along with Nico here." Percy looked at two hooded figures in the doorway, covered in rainwater with holes and rips all over their clothes. The figures lowered their hoods, revealing a pissed-off son of Hades and an equally livid daughter of Bellona.

"I can't believe Jason would do this! Betray us, I mean." Reyna said. "I don't particular care much for camp-bomber boy, even if it wasn't technically his fault."

"Understandable." Piper said, causing everyone to release tense laughter.

"Who's coming with me?" Percy asked.

"I can't" Both Reyna and Piper said at the same time. Everyone understood why. Neither could stand seeing Jason as a traitor. No one else could either, but everyone could tell it was hurting them the most. Not even _Percy_ was that oblivious.

"I would… but… I won't be much help. Jason's too strong." Hazel said.

Annabeth was about to speak, but Nico beat her to it. "You're staying here, Hazel, because I'm going." Nico knew that if Percy went to confront _evil_ _Jason _without Nico by his side, certain things that happened in a certain place about a certain someone would get out. If Nico went with him, he could control what Jason said.

"Nico, you're not serious. No, you're staying here. You've done too much already. You just shadow traveled to and from Camp. I'm not taking you—"

"It's the only way," Annabeth reasoned. "Besides, two powerful demigods against one powerful demigod? You would be _at least_ twice as stronger than him.

Frank came out of his room about then. "I'll come with you guys, if you want. I think I know where Jason took Leo."

* * *

Nico shadow traveled the three of them off the ship and onto land.

"So where did Jason take Leo?" Percy inquired.

Frank smiled sinisterly. "Why exactly would I tell you?" Nico and Percy exchanged glances, worried. "You thought that I was one of you? How amusing! Wait until I tell Jason! Now I've got the two of you separated from the others, so I can kill you!"

Nico's eyes burned in hatred. "Why? Why would a Chinese Baby-Man such as yourself want to betray the gods?"

Frank scoffed. "I am not a Chinese Baby-Man. I grew out of that stage. See? I look like a sexy beast now!"

Under his breath, Percy mumbled, "The only beast you resemble is a panda. A very homely panda." Nico snickered.

"I am going to kill you Perseus Jackson!"

"Not if I kill you first." Nico screamed as he disappeared in the shadows and reappeared at Frank's side, reaching for the stick in his pocket. He pulled the fireproof cover that Leo had made off and pulled a lighter from his pocket.

"Now, before I kill you, I want an answer to my question. Where is Jason?"

Frank gulped, before giving away that Jason was at "Grace's Evil Incorporated."

"That's such a dumb name." Nico said. "Why couldn't he call it something like, 'Mythomagic Kingdom.'?"

"I thought you didn't play that anymore?" Percy responded, cocking his head to the side.

Nico flustered. "I don't. Why would you think that?" His cheeks burned red. Percy smirked.

"It isn't that bad of a name." Frank defended. "He even came up with a jingle."

"Ooh, I want to hear it." Percy sounded excited, like a little kid getting a Christmas present. Frank pulled out an I-Phone, confusing Nico because since when could a demi-god have a phone or internet without being eaten by monsters? Aw, whatever. To Tartarus with logic, Nico decided.

Percy pressed the phone to his ear. As Percy listened to the jingle, he became very enraged. How dare Jason try to copy Phineas and Ferb! That show was the bomb. The only downside was that the main character's name was Phineas.

The ditty was only four seconds long, but Percy found that the phone was still sitting on his ear after ten minutes. Frank had glued the phone to his ear! That Bastard!

Nico had figured out that Jason's organization was in Cambodia, not noticing that Percy's hand was glued to his head. He was far too busy staring at another part of Percy's body to notice.

Frank laughed, causing Nico to look up and realize that Percy had issues. "Frank, I never approved of you dating my sister."

"Whatever." Nico's eyes darkened. Frank turned around to leave.

"Frank," Nico called out. "You forgot something."

"What?" The other demigod said in confusion.

Nico held up the wood in his hands. "That I can kill you in seconds." Frank's eyes widened in fear.

* * *

Nico dragged Percy back onto the ship. "Percy, what's wrong."

"More importantly," Hazel said. "Where's Frank."

Nico pointedly ignored his sister, "Aw, Hazel, just the person I wanted to see. How do I unglue a Sea Prince's hand from a Baby Man's i-phone?"

"Why does Frank have an I-Phone?" Piper asked from the doorway.

"What's an i-Phone?"

Leo looked at Hazel in shock, "How do you not know what an i-Phone is."

"Leo." Nico reprimanded. "You know why. Now please, shut up."

"Hazel, we need help." Percy was annoyed. Two of the seven have betrayed the gods, and to make matters worse, he had a phone with bad autocorrect attached to his head, though he wasn't sure what the bad autocorrect had to do with anything.

"I think Annabeth is in her room. She'll think of something."

"Really, Percy!" his girlfriend exclaimed as she saw his dilemma. "Are you really that stupid? Did you really need my help to remove this from your seaweed-filled head?"

"Er, yes?"

"Sometimes, I swear…"

* * *

As Percy and Nico snuck into Jason's lair, Nico search around for any sort of traps Jason could have set up. He didn't see any, but he still remained on guard.

It was a good thing he did too, otherwise he may never have noticed a silent Jason at the end of the corridor, waiting with a tied-up Leo, smiling maliciously.  
"Oh, Nico." Jason waved, looking back and forth between Nioc and Percy. "Does this mean you've finally acted on those feel—"

"Shut up!" Nico yelled. "Just shut up, you traitorous cow!"

"How dare you call me a cow? That's as bad as being called Hera. Speaking of which, how dare my father name me something she likes. I don't like her!"

"Is that what this was about?" Percy asked. "You didn't like what your father named you?"

"Gaia offered me power, and you know how we Romans like power, and how much us children of Jupiter like power… I love power…"

Nico and Percy shuddered, both feeling that Jason reminded far too much of Octavian for their liking.

Leo gestured to Jason's sword, and then tried to wiggle out of his binds, hoping that Nico or Percy would understand.


	3. Meme 2

**Meme Result 2 "Nico, Jason and Piper are locked in a closet from the inside. You go in and the door shuts behind you, meaning that you're stuck in there too."**

* * *

Nico groaned. How did he even get stuck in a closet? With Jason and Piper no less. He was smarter than this. On the other hand, considering how many times he got himself manipulated, tricked, used, kidnapped, or turned into a plant, it really shouldn't have come across as a shock to him.

Jason had pulled him into the closet by his jacket. Piper was already waiting in there. Jason confessed to Nico that he had revealed his secret to Piper. Nico had come dangerously close to murdering him.

Nico tried to shadow-travel away, but apparently either Aphrodite or Eros had made the room shadow-travel proof so he would have to face his biggest fear. Maybe he'd made Nemesis or Tyche mad and this was the punishment.

"Nico, I just want to help you." Piper said. He glared, before turning to the door, but then becoming disheartened when he realized it was also locked.

"It's no use Nico." Jason informed the younger demigod. "The only way you can get out is opening the door from the other side."

Nico smirked, "then how are you two going to get out?"

Jason's triumphant grin faltered. "Uh, I didn't think about that."

Piper banged on the door and screamed." Help. Someone help! I'm stuck in a locked closet with Nico!"

"Piper, knock it off." Jason hissed. "The only way for Nico to come out of this closet is to… well, come out of the closet."

"I will not!"

"Which closet are you referring to?" Piper said grinning.

"Apparently, both." Jason said.

"I will stay in this closet for my entire life. Both closets. Much better than facing Percy… and I guess… I just couldn't admit it to even myself. Saying it out loud to other people is way worse. And I am going to send ghosts to haunt you in your sleep. You just had to bring a daughter of Aphrodite into it as well, didn't you?"

"I feel offended." Piper said. "And Nico, you better come out of the closet, so I can get out of this closet."

"Can we please stop talking about closets?" Nico said. "Did you purposely choose to lock me in a closet so you could make jokes about it?"

"What?" said Jason innocently. "It's funny."

"I don't like closets!" Nico yelled.

"Because you've been trapped in one since birth?"

"Piper, shut up! It's your mother's fault! Did she put you up to this?"

Piper grinned. "Actually, my mother warned me not to mess with what she called Percabeth because Percy and Annabeth are her masterpiece. I'm here because Reyna, well… I feel kind of bad, you know. I feel like I stole her chance with Jason here, and I think she would be happy with Annabeth. I'm also here for you. I think you deserve one happy thing in your life." In his head, Nico translated Piper's words about Reyna into, "If she finds happiness with Annabeth, maybe I won't have to deal with her stealing my boyfriend, although I will not admit this in front of Jason."

"I'm the son of Hades." Nico answered bitterly. "My life isn't meant to be happy."

"Well, I'm the daughter of Aphrodite. Does that make me a slut? Or vain? Or prissy? Who you are is not defined by your parent or how others see your parent."

"You're different than me. I'm exactly like my father. I even look like the dude, though I hate to admit it. No one likes either of us. We both creep everyone else, and we both almost let our anger get the better of us. I'm too similar to him. You are the exact opposite of your mother, otherwise you wouldn't be here."

After a few seconds of silence, Nico spoke up again "Why?"

"Why what?" Piper asked.

"I spent so long with the notion that my father was disappointed in me as a son. I tried so hard to get him to approve of me, and when he finally showed me affection, I was pleased. Why do you disobey your mother's wishes? She'll practically disown you when you find out."

"Eros came to Jason and me with a quest. Eros is my half-brother, you know."

"Yes, I know." Nico said, not sure how this piece of information was relevant to his question.

"Anyway, Eros's father, Ares, thinks he's weak because he's a _male_ love god. When everyone was fighting about whether my and Jason's couple name was Jiper or Jasper, Eros chose Jasper, while Aphrodite chose Jiper. Now everyone calls us Jasper, even the Ares kids and the Hunters, and they aren't very big on romance. Eros told me that if I feel passion for something, I should stick up for that passion, no matter if it is our mom who tells you that it's wrong. When you were talking with Cupid, by the way, did he have a Mexican accent?"

"No… Why…."

"No reason." Piper said, shaking her head as if to get rid of an unpleasant thought.

The door opened. Nico ran to the door screaming, "Milky! Milky! Don't close that door." Milky Awesomeway blocked his way out.

"What on Earth is going on in here?"

"I'm trying to convince Nico to come out of the closet." Jason explained.

Milky looked confused. "He obviously wants out of the closet…"

Piper sighed in exasperation. "Not that closet! Maybe we really should have thought this through…"

"_Oh_…" Milky said, a glint in her eye and closed the door behind her, locking the four demigods in effectively.

"Why do you want in on my love life? You're a Hunter." Nico whined.

"Artemis loves gays! All Greek gods do. I mean, they're Greek. How could they not?"

"I thought she swore off love? Wouldn't any form of love be something she disapproves of? " Piper asked.

"Artemis doesn't hate love. She just doesn't approve of men, and doesn't want love for herself or her Hunters. However, she considers lesbians awesome because they will never go astray due to not liking men like that, and gay guys are awesome because they won't manipulate girls to do their bidding and whatnot."

Nico looked confused. "I don't think Artemis would ever be caught dead saying the word awesome."

"Sorry about that." Milky said sheepishly. "It's the Apollo in me. Now where was I? Oh, yes. In fact, Artemis likes gay guys so much that even though they aren't female, there were two gay men she made Hunters, although his myth was tainted with and the mortal story is much different than the truth."

Piper was very interested. "Tell me about him."

"I wasn't there to see him, but before she passed on, Zoë Nightshade told me all about it. His name was Orion."

"_The_ Orion. The one in the sky with the scorpion?"

"Yes."

"I thought he was a rapist or something like that." Jason said. "So if that story was fake then what was the real story behind that?"

"Hermes made up a story about him asking a man for permission to date his daughter, but was rejected. So Orion went to the daughter and well, you know…"

The Hunter blushed, not used to talking about such forbidden matters. She felt _so _dirty. "Anyway, Dionysus wrote another story years later about Orion having an affair with a female god. The truth was simply that he was gay, one of Artemis's hunters, and Hermes made up a story to get Apollo to distrust Orion. It worked. Apollo thought Orion was just lying about not wanting females to get to Artemis, so he tricked his sister into killing him like it was in the myth. He was the first and last male Hunter of Artemis."

"You guys really need to respect my feelings on this matter. I'm not ready to admit it, and I won't be for another twenty years." As if sending Nico an answer, the door unlocked and the shadow-travel barrier lifted. Jason, Piper, and Milky looked disheartened. They really wanted the issue to be resolved before they had to leave.

Nico frowned. "Can't I just stay _in_ the closet? It's rather nice in here. Jason, I know you agree."

Jason was very confused. "Nico… I'm not secretly gay if that's what you are insinuating. "

Nico rolled his eyes. "No, I mean the closet that you locked me in. It's really warm in here, and I know you think so too. Can we stay?"

"Um, what about Milky and Piper? Don't you think they like it in here?""

"You are straight, and Piper rejected the Hunters' invitation. I don't think Milky will me confortable in here. Piper's charmspeak is very hard to resist, so once she leaves then I focus on other things other than ignoring her, like how I'm going to kill you for this!"

* * *

**Darn... that one sucked.** **Oh, well. Maybe I can do the next one better.** **The next one, like this one, will be very Percico/Nicercy/Pico-centric. You have been warned. **


	4. Meme 3

**Well, this one will be probably be pushing the T rating a little bit. Whatever. I don't write smut, so it probably won't get that bad. **

* * *

**3. "What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Percy to deflower Nico?"**

* * *

Eros appeared before Milky. She gasped. "To what pleasure do I owe this visit?"

"Milky O. Awesomeway, you have failed to give me Pico last chapter."

"I'm sorry sir, but Percabeth is a very hard couple to break up without screwing up canon immensely."

"That is no excuse." Eros replied. "You're a pathetic excuse for a Hunter. Not even able to break up heterosexual couples. Hah! Artemis must be disappointed in you."

"Um… Artemis doesn't teach us how to break up couples."

"She should." Eros said. "It'll give her more Hunters." He looked at Milky in distaste. "Never mind. It doesn't matter, but I _do_ need my Pico fix as much as you do."

"Uh… sir. Pico sounds funny. It kind of makes me want to laugh. Can we call them Percico instead? It sounds more serious."

"How about Nercy?"

"Do people even call them that?"

"This is the Peeniss thing all over again." Eros said in frustration. "You didn't agree with me then either. You Hunters have no taste in pairing names."

"Well, Katniss is sort of a hunter so I should know what her tastes are. I'm very certain that she wouldn't be all happy to learn that her and Peeta's official pairing name is Peeniss. Couldn't you have called them Keeta?"

"Did Dionysus set you up to that?" Eros sighed. "He will never learn that I am better at pairing names than he is."

"If you say so." Milky answered, a bit disturbed. "What do you suggest I do?"

"You're the Author. You think of something."

"Like I said, I cannot break up Percabeth. It's near impossible without causing the story to be all sorts of crack. The only way I could do that is break down the fourth wall and unleash my Author powers on them, but the problem is I don't want them knowing I'm an Author. I must remain just a normal daughter of Apollo."

"Did you know you get your writing genes from your father?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your father sucks at his domains. Especially art, music, poetry and writing…"

"Are you insinuating that I can't write?"

"Oh, Milky." Eros shook his head. "I mean no offense to you, but you are a fanfiction writer, and all fanfiction writers suck."

"They do not!" Milky was livid. "I mean, a few do, but I speak on the behalf of fanfiction writers that the vast majority of us are some of the most talented writers out there. You are just a pathetic pairing-obsessed freak _male_."

"You take that back before I—"

"You do not insult my readers, or any fanfiction writer again, understood."

"Even the males?"

"Even the males. They write amazing stories as well. Maybe if you would just read—"

"I will not read fanfiction. And—wait? You still have readers? Even after writing the atrocities that are your past stories?"

"You have no taste in literature."

"You're a daughter of Apollo, the worst poet and singer of all time. Like you know about literature."

"If this is about my half-siblings Tara and Thomas I had nothing to do with—"

"Thomas insulted your lady and called her a whore."

Milky shrugged. "It doesn't matter. This is hardly the time. I'm not here to do Prayer Warriors commentary. I'm here to discuss Percico."

"What about your other half-sister? Justine Beaver, was it?"

"While I personally think Justine's music _still_ sucks_, _Justin's voice is lower now, so you can stop calling him that. I may have a few siblings who unfortunately inherited my father's genes, but that doesn't make me like them. Back to the original topic at hand, I cannot afford to break the fourth wall anymore. It's bad enough that Piper and Jason remember the Jasper-Jiper altercation."

"It shouldn't be this hard to get Percico together. Nico already has those feelings… and come on! Annabeth's fatal flaw is pride out of all things. Besides, they're the children of Greek Gods. We're all bisexual! Demigods should be too!"

"You're Eros. You're _Cupid_. Maybe it's easy for you, but it is not easy for me! You can just shoot Annabeth with a black arrow and make Percy fall in love with Nico, and boom! Percico. I have to keep people in character and come up with a reasonable ending to Percabeth. And the Percabeth fangirls will all flame me too. It's too hard." Milky burst into milk-filled tears.

"Maybe you are just like Tara…"

"Am not. She cries bloody tears!"

* * *

Apollo materialized next to them. "There, there, daughter. Tell me all about it."

"Eros thinks I can't write."

"Eros! How dare you tell Milky her writing is terrible. She is my daughter. She is awesome at everything."

Eros rolled his eyes. "She can't do a little task I ask of her. Despicable!"

"Milky." Apollo said comfortingly. "Your writing does not suck. I mean, you wrote a Pertemis story behind Artemis's back. That was the coolest thing ever!"

"It was pretty awesome, wasn't it?" Milky wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Artemis is _still_ trying to figure out who used her Wi-Fi to do it. She blamed Hyaline at first. After all, she was a perfect candidate due to the Artemis Fowl incident, and her mother is Khione so she had a motive."

Apollo continued, "and Mad You Came was brilliant. It's so catchy."

"It was, wasn't it?" Milky smiled while reminiscing on her past achievements.

"And don't get me started on having the Pallas Athene give birth to a half-vampire child. That was clever. It was definitely refreshing to have something for me and Hermes to tease her about. We were running out of good Percabeth jokes. "

"You're right, Father. I am awesome! Not as much as you, of course." Milky stood up straighter. "And I have the perfect idea."

"Atta girl." Both men said at the same time.

* * *

Milky used her Author powers to insert herself in front of the Hades cabin. No one noticed, thankfully. She straightened out her silver jacket before knocking on Nico's door. The Italian opened up. "Hello, Milky."

Milky sensed something was off. "What's wrong, Nico. You're usually happy to see me."

"I'm don't want to see anyone."

"You never want to see anyone, Nico. But you're glummer than usual, and that says something."

Nico glared at her before checking to see if the coast was clear. He led her into his cabin. He sat down on his bed. "I think Annabeth has put two and two together. I can't stay here with _her _and _him_."

"Nico di Angelo!" Milky screamed. "You cannot keep running from facing your fears. You already faced them once on page 292—I mean when you were confronting Cupid, and when I first met you all those years ago. I guessed it almost immediately." She cursed herself in her head. She slipped up! How could she be so stupid?

"I don't want to think about that day. It's the day when Bianca joined the Hunters."

Milky sighed. "I know, but Nico. Jason and I both know, and we accept you. Everyone else will too. I promise."

"Brian didn't."

Milky froze. Nico was not supposed to remember her half-brother. Damn, she did have a lot of useless siblings. Eros was right.

"Who's Brian?" Milky asked, feigning ignorance.

"I… don't know." Nico answered. "Weird."

* * *

Milky left the room. Stage 1: Complete. She crossed her fingers, hoping what she had planned worked.

She knocked on the door to the Athena cabin. Annabeth was the one to open the door. "I must talk to you. It's urgent."

"Why. What's going on?" Annabeth's eyes scanned Milky, intimidating the younger girl. It would be so hard to lie to Annabeth, Milky realized. But she had no choice. It was the only thing she could think of at such short notice. She really couldn't keep anyone waiting. The gods were furious, and Meme Number 5 was Christmassy. She needed to finish three more memes before Christmas so she could do the Christmassy one on time. Huh, she thought. According to spellcheck Christmassy is a word. She looked it up, forgetting that she was talking to Annabeth.

"Um… Earth to Milky?"

"Oh… hey Annabeth. It's about Percy."

"What about Percy?"

"How he is only with you because he couldn't have Luke, and neither could you."

"That is not true."

"Then why was he so jealous of you?"

"He was not! He was jealous of Luke because I still trusted him even after he became evil, but Percy was always good and I seemed to overlook him. Percy is not gay! Now leave before I stab you."

"You seem to know Percy's thoughts very well." Milky replied. "And you seem about as sure as you were when you thought Nico had a crush on you."

"But… he does. I even asked Piper. Daughters of Aphrodite know everything when it comes to love."

"Piper's about as much of an Aphrodite kid as you are Demeter's. She doesn't even _act_ like a proper daughter of Aphrodite. If I wanted to know who liked who in this camp I would ask Destiny. She is one of the least biased and most talented Aphrodite kids when it comes to couples."

"She's fourteen and won't do anything because it will ruin her nails. Piper, on the other hand, is sixteen and can fight. "

"There you Athena kids go again, only asking for advice from people who are logical or rational. Think about it. You went to Piper because she's a daughter of Aphrodite, right? And you chose her over her half-siblings because she's level-headed, right?"

"Yes?"

"But the reason you went to her was because of her mother's domain is love, not because you thought Piper was an expert in love. Now, think about it. Wouldn't it make more sense to go to a child of Aphrodite that acts like Aphrodite if you wanted accurate results? Piper doesn't act like her mother, which makes me wonder just how good at love stuff she actually is."

"I guess you have a point, but why Destiny?"

"Destiny won't lie to you to suck up or be biased in her results, unlike Tiffany, Madison, Kaylyn, and Drew. "

* * *

Maybe Milky lied to Annabeth. Destiny _would_ lie to her, but only for the greater good. It saves Milky's ass and Percico happens. What joy! Destiny was cool, and Milky liked her style of thinking when it came to couples, but maybe Milky could bribe her to see her way this time.

Nico didn't like Annabeth, so unless Destiny was like everybody else, she wouldn't have to do something there, but she need to convince the other girl to go along with the Percy-is-in-the-closet thing, and then Milky could inform Eros that she was ready to start mission Get-Percy-to-fall-for-Nico, otherwise known as Step 4 in the Percico Plan.

She approached Destiny cautiously.

"What do you want, Hunter." Madison, another Aphrodite kid sneered.

"What I want is to remember to make Male Aphrodite Kid OC's, but that will never happen."

"What?"

"All of my stories only have daughters of Aphrodite. I need a just one son."

Madison and Destiny looked confused. It took a few seconds for Milky to realize what she said. "Nothing. It's not important. Destiny I need to talk to you."

* * *

Milky imagined a brown-haired blue-eyed fifteen year old kid in her head. The same person walked out of the Aphrodite cabin. Much better, Milky thought to herself.

"Why am I the only male Aphrodite kid who isn't in the books?" The boy whispered to her. She hadn't yet erased his memory, having just created him.

"Because I didn't realize the problem until now? Anyway, the closest I've ever come to having a male Aphrodite kid is having Nico name off all the boys with shaggy black hair and one of them was a child of Aphrodite named Garrett, who never actually made an appearance in the story." She responded. "Now keep your mouth shut about the books or I'll erase your memory before the end of this chapter. What's your name?"

"Peter Nolan."

"Age?"

"Fifteen."

"In a relationship?"

"Yes. She's a daughter of Demeter. Why are you asking these questions?"

"For your character profile. Duh."

She looked at Peter and Madison. "Can you two leave me and Destiny alone? Thank you!"

* * *

"Okay, listen. Annabeth will be over here any minute to ask about who Nico's crush is. Do not tell her this, just let her know that it is not her. She may also ask if Percy had a crush on Luke. I will pay you thirty drachmas and twenty American dollars for you to say yes."

"I'll do both those things for free. You see, Milky. Funny story—"

"Just take the money!"

"Okay." She complied.

* * *

The next morning Milky woke up hearing screaming and pleading. She ran to her cabin's window and gasped. Annabeth was chasing her boyfriend around with a sword in her hand. She ran outside.

"Hey Milky!" Percy waved, still running away from a furious Annabeth. "If it wasn't for the fact Annabeth is trying to kill me, I would thank you for forcing me to admit that I was the one who loved Luke."

"Now that I am not afraid anymore, there's one thing I've always wanted to do…"

Annabeth yelled. "Shut up and stand still so I can kill you. I am no one's beard! Especially when I didn't even know that I was their fake girlfriend. I will not be made a fool."

"Just look at that hubris… So revolting." Milky said, before realizing something. "Wait, Percy is gay? Hold on a second…"

Percy spoke up. "By the way, could you tell Nico to come to my cabin later? I have some things to take care of."

Milky shivered. Hunters did not want to hear about that. Once she was done trying to get that scarring image out of her head, she turned around at banged her head on the Artemis cabin walls. If she had known it was that easy to break up Percabeth, she would have put it in last chapter like she was supposed to.

* * *

**1. Should I tone down the references a bit, both to my stories and well-known things?**

**2. If done well, a Percabeth break-up can be very plausible. Unfortunately, unless you are very talented, you usually you need more than one chapter for that. I am not that good with keeping personalities in check. **

**3. This is such a long chapter… and most of it is filler and ramblings. I also think it's hard to follow**

**4. This chapter sucks… this chapter sucks… this chapter sucks….**

**5. Milky needs to learn how not to break down the fourth wall, doesn't she? **

**6. YAY! I finally have a male Aphrodite kid. **

**7. Eros will never learn my pairing names are better than his**

**8. For a Hunter, Milky sure is obsessed with couples. Weird…**


	5. Meme 4

**4. "Who's better suited to become Supreme Ruler of the Universe, Zoë or Nico, and how would the universe look like under his/her rule?"**

* * *

The world was bright and pollution was no longer a thing. The air became breathable again, the world's forests had replenished. Animals were no longer at risk of being endangered. The waters were cleansed of the human's trash.

All the women in the world were Hunters of Artemis. The men were no more, and all the male gods had faded. The people were happy without those manipulative bastards around. Hera had faded due to her domain becoming extinct. Everyone cheered as she took her last breath.

Aphrodite became weak as her domain still around was only beauty, and that was starting to be useless since there were no more men to look pretty for. No one cared about her though. After all, they were all Hunters and Hunters didn't need love.

Artemis became the most powerful goddess, her domain flourishing with all the new Hunters and the reviving of all the animals and forests. Zoë's world was beautiful, especially considering that jerk Heracles fading in the most gruesome way. That was satisfying.

Hestia was on the council again. The Olympian council assisted only of the Maiden Goddesses: Artemis, Athena, Hestia, and Hecate. (Yes, Milky thought to herself. For your reader's information, Hecate is in fact a maiden goddess. Go look it up if you don't believe me.)

Zoë thought that the maiden goddesses obviously wouldn't be biased in their views on topics. They were smart enough to not me lead stray by men. Either way, just in case Athena's wisdom and impartialness would make her choose against what Artemis wanted, Zoë had Hecate slip a tonic into her nectar.

Artemis declared herself the biggest misandrist, meaning a hater of males, and chose to be Queen of the Gods.

"Mirror mirror, on the wall, who hates males most out of us all?" Artemis said randomly, even though the talking mirror was gone because it had a male's voice.

Somewhere in the crowd, someone said. "I know I am not a mirror, but I want to answer. You never tried to kill all the males off. Zoë did. She is the most male-hating of us all!"

"Zoë Nightshade!" Artemis remembered another one of her hunters, Atalanta, who people also said was better than Artemis at her _own_ domain. Never again! Never again! "I am going to kill you!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Poof. Artemis disappeared.

* * *

Everyone lived happily ever after, until they realized they needed men in order for humans to survive.

"So that was why Artemis didn't want all of the men to be destroyed," One of the women said. "It would affect childbirth, another one of her domains, and on top of that, civilization cannot continue without sper—"

All the women dropped dead, putting an end to the Iron Age.

* * *

The world was dark. It was very gloomy and depressing. Everyone on the streets had to walk through strong winds and blowing dirt. The world was very polluted from the darkness of Hades, who had replaced Zeus as head of the gods at Nico's command. The sun was barely ever out because Hades wanted it to be dark all the time, and Nico had agreed.

Nico lounged in his throne that sat next to his father's. He closed his eyes, thinking of what he could possibly do to the world to make it better. A light bulb went off in his head. Of course!

He teleported down to Camp Half-Blood where all the Greek demigods, the seven children of the prophecy, and the Olympian Council all waited. Percy and Annabeth wanted to know what a world governed by Nico looked like. Leo was scared of the very idea. In fact, at that point in time, he was hiding behind Hazel. Nico would never dare to blast his sister, would he?

Nico waited at a podium, waiting for a cue from his father to indicate when he could speak. "Hello, subjects—I mean, fellow citizens of Earth. I have called my first meeting ever to address some issues I think need to be addressed. Earth has a lot of problems that I think we need to fix. "

"Like what, Nico?"

"Everyone in this world has to be…" Nico took a big breath before continuing, forcing himself to say the word. "Gay."

Aphrodite spit out the nectar she was drinking. "What?"

Nico ignored her. "Anyone caught being straight will be killed. That is all."

Aphrodite spoke. "You can't kill people because they are straight."

"Just like you can't kill people because they are gay? Give me a break. Now people will know how it feels just to be prosecuted because someone doesn't like the fact that you fell in love. Now people will know what it's like to hate yourself for being what you are, who you are, and feeling the way you do. "

Athena responded, "Two wrongs don't make a right, Nico." Nico pretended not to hear her.

"Nico di Angelo!" Hades thundered. "As my son, you know better than—"

"Oh, yes. That was not all. I lied. Also, Zeus is the god of the Underworld now. My father's children for now on will be the leaders of quests, the children everyone looks up to, and will have the glory that children of Zeus have always gotten. Zeus and his children will finally know what it feels like to be outcasted and hated by everyone."

"That's more like it, son." Hades gave him a fist bump.

"Oh, Nico." Jason sighed, a bit annoyed because guess who his father just _happened_ to be. "I understand that you were feeling rejected due to your lineage and you felt like if you came out you would be treated even more badly, but—"

"What do you mean?" Percy asked.

"Nico's fatal flaw is holding grudges," Annabeth realized with wide eyes. "Why didn't I realize he was... she trailed up, thinking hard.

"Yes." Percy said, "We already know that he fatal flaw is holding grudges." Percy, being the slow idiot he is, was still not getting it.

"No, listen." Annabeth told him while rolling her eyes. "If you held a grudge against someone and had Nico's fatal flaw, what is the first thing you would do?"

Percy looked at Jason." You're not implying that Nico is gay, are you?" His eyes widened "Of course! How could I have been so stupid? How did you realize that before me?"

"I didn't _realize_ it. In fact, I thought it was Annabeth. Nico told me."

"What? I've known him his whole life. Why would he trust you more than me?" Percy and Jason fought over who Nico trusted more for about five minutes before Annabeth finally broke it up.

* * *

A few yards away, Aphrodite and Eros were in the middle of a senseless fight. "Eros! You're grounded for interfering with my favorite couples, Jiper and Percabeth."

Eros rolled his eyes. "I am most definitely not interfering! It is that idiot son of Hades turning the whole world gay! Stupid grudge-holding fatal flaws."

"Oh, yeah right! As if I didn't notice you daydreaming of ways to get Percico together, leaning over plans with that revolting Hunter of Artemis. And I know you are not a Jiper fan."

"1. Leave Milky out of this. She's too awesome to be ridiculed by you. Besides, Milky hates me because she thinks I'm an idiot. 2. I do too think Jason and Piper are cute together. 3… FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S JASPER!"

"JIPER!"

"JASPER!"

"JIPER!"

"JASPER!"

"JIPER!"

"JASPER!"

"JIPER!"

"JASPER!"

Artemis screamed, "FOR THE LOVE OF HADES,"

"HADES IS NOT A LOVE GOD!" Eros and Aphrodite both screamed at the maiden.

"Yeah!" Apollo agreed from next to his sister. "If anything he's a hate god."

"No one wants to hear about stupid pairing names!" Artemis stressed.

"Maybe you don't Ms. I don't want to fall in love, but surely everyone else…"

"WE DO NOT CARE, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A GODDESS!" Nico boomed. He waved his hand in the air. Aphrodite and Eros disappeared.

"We really need to stop talking in all caps…" Apollo mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Everyone asked.

"Nothing…" He had forgotten that they were not gods of the arts.

"Oh, okay." Everyone replied.

"Wait a second…" Realization dawned upon Artemis' face. "I'm your twin sister! How dare you defend Aphrodite over me!"

"And I am not a hate god! I am just a tad bit dark. Speaking of which, you are too sunny for my taste." Apollo vanished. most likely against his will.

"Where did you send them?" Athena asked.

"Tartarus, why?" She facepalmed. Why did she have such an idiot for an uncle.

* * *

Years went by under Nico's(and Hades') rule. Jason ended up with Leo and Piper ended up with Reyna through bonding over losing Jason. Nico forced Percy into being his queen(or, if you believe what Percy calls it, Co-King.) After their union(or, if you believe what Nico calls it, marriage) eventually, Percy began to love Nico almost as much as Annabeth. Key word: Almost.

Of course, he still saw her… as a servant in his large castle. Nico had forced her to be his slave, annoyed with her for standing in his way for so many years. Needless to say, the daughter of Athena was not very happy that someone with her brains and value had been reduced to a measly maid. She lived in ire towards the Ruler, wishing for him to die a painful bloody death. As for Hazel and Frank… Nico didn't have the heart to hurt his sister's feelings, so he let them stay together in secret.

* * *

One day, when they were all somehow simultaneously on their deathbeds at the same time… don't you dare ask for an explanation for this… pretend that this is reasonable for logic's sake. Anyway, one day, when they were all dying on their deathbeds at the same time Percy said to his crying lover, still as fresh-faced as he always was due to his immortality. "Screw you."

"Wait, what."

"You banned people from being straight…"

Nico's eyes stormed over. "Why do you care? I thought you loved me now."

"I do. I swear it, but Nico? If no one in this world is straight then how the living hell are people supposed to reproduce?"

"I never thought about that…" The son of Hades scratched his neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry Percy. I let my anger get the better of me, and I got a little carried away. Please forgive me. I love you."

"I love you, too." As the whole world died off, and the gods faded without anyone to rule over, Nico prayed that the three children born of Frazel's union could save humanity… until he realized that they were all boys.

* * *

Milky shot up in bead screaming. No. No. No. She started to look around to see whether she had been placed in Elysium or not, but then realized that Zoë had long passed away and Nico had not concocted any stupid plans. She was still safe. The world was still safe. It was a dream. THey were both dreams. Neither hero had decided to take over the world.

She walked through the forest to clear her head, still trying to recover from such horrifying images. Nico's ideal universe and Zoë's ideal universe will kill off all off civilization? Unfortunately, she could see it. She desperately hoped that this dream wasn't a regular demigod dream, although since Zoë was dead perhaps her mortal subconscious had broken through and had changed it to her old leader? Could it even do that? Could it change visions? But why then would Thalia want to kill the entire male population off? She was a much more level-headed hunter.

Maybe she should stop thinking about it. After all, the gods would never allow a demi-god to take over the world. She trekked through the woods until she saw a stranded sight that caused her to stop suddenly.

"Nico? Zoë? What are the two of you doing here?" Nico and Zoë sat in fold-up chairs on either side of one of a fold-up table. On the table was a flat board.

"Nico smiled, "Playing a board game."

"Okay, but Zoë? You're dead and you do not like boys. Why are you—"

"All spirits have to do what Nico tells them too…"

"You're not an Underworld Spirit! Your soul was put in the sky! Nico doesn't command you. What game are you playing anyway?"

"World Domination." Nico answered.

Naturally, Milky immediately flipped the table. She screamed while running for her life. "NO! Neither of you are allowed to dominate the world!"

Nico and Zoë looked at each other and said in unison, "What the Hades is her problem."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE THAT IS IMPORTANT BUT PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY NOT BOTHER TO READ:**

**I had an alternate Nico's World, where he was going to use his awesome leader powers to make everyone in the world straight so gays no longer have to hate themselves or feel ashamed and have the world be overpopulated due to no gays to balance it out, so that his world would be the complete opposite of Zoe's, (but equally bad.) However I realized that I could do so much with this one that I ended up choosing this one.**

* * *

**Also, it appears young Milky dearest has forgotten to answer the question "Who's better suited to become Supreme Ruler of the Universe," which is part of the scenario. I guess I will choose for her, since we are practically the same person(okay, literally the same person, but whatevs.)**

**Personally, I choose Zoe's, and not because my self insert is a Hunter. As you can see, she acts more like Thalia then Zoe. If it was about that, she would pick Nico's world, because there, no one could be straight, so no women would "go astray," as they say. And, in Nico's world, they wouldn't have to kill off an entire species to keep men and women from getting together, which is less violence and bloodshed. That is always good. (and on top of that, Milky wouldn't appreciate Zoe turning against Artemis, would she?)**

**The reason Milky(or myself) would have to choose Zoe's is because it's bright and beautiful and the ecosystem has been restored and the wild returned. Unlike Nico's where everything is just dead…. **

**So kill off human race but fix the planet, or destroy both? Which one should we choose? *Note the sarcasm***

* * *

**I PROMISE that this will be the last time I have a Percico chapter until Meme 9. I really should have gone through my chapters to make sure that the Percico chapters weren't all next to each other. (I probably lost readers due to that.)**

**Meme 5 is Christmassy and Meme 7 is Thalico(Sort-of). Eight deals only with the PiperXJasonXReyna love triangle with a splash of Frank. **

**This is my plans for chapters 6 and 10-13. Meme ten will be PercyXHazel and NicoXConner and a few other pairings I can't be bothered to remember right now. Meme 12 will be somewhat Percico, but not that much. Meme 11 will be random and won't have much romance in it. Meme thirteen is very screwed up, and so is six. In fact, I advise you all to skip those chapters entirely. They're weird. **

**Meme6: AnnabethXPiperXFrankXLeoXOctavianXThaliaXJasonXGroverXReynaXPercyXHazel. And also GroverXNico. The hell… Like I said. Skip this one**

**Meme13: PercyXFrankXPiper**

* * *

**And to make sure people read this, can you guys write, "Update next chapter before December 25****th**** " in your reviews. Just to remind me that the next chapter is the Christmas one and I need to get it done on time for you guys. **


	6. Meme 5: Christmas

**Merry Christmas guys. Here's your present: **

**Meme 5: Christmas**

**Setting: The Titan's Curse (What? It's set in December so it works out perfectly. Ethan is in this though, which was a mistake that I did not realize until I started this chapter.)**

* * *

**The 10 Victims**

1. Bianca di Angelo

2. Nico di Angelo

3. Luke Castellan

4. Annabeth Chase

5. Percy Jackson

6. Thalia

7. Ethan Nakamura

8. Silena Beauregard

9. (Charles/Charlie) Beckendorf

10. Milky A.

* * *

Thalia handed her fellow Hunter Milky a Christmas present. Milky's eyes lit up. She opened it. The smile vanished from her face. "Thalia… you gave me coal."

"Exactly. You've been very naughty, torturing us for your amusement like that."

"Just be glad that this is the first time that I chose you as a victim."

"Touché."

* * *

Meanwhile, Bianca and Percy were trying to find Nico a present in a very crowded mall. "What are we supposed to get him? I already had you give him the only figurine he didn't have, and Mythomagic is the only thing he cares about."

Percy answered. "We'll think of something, Bianca. Now we just have to deal with pushing all these annoying mortals out of our way."

Just then, the phone rang. It was Nico. "I was supposed to tell you that Annabeth was arrested."

"For what?"

"Throwing some turkeys and a moose out of a helicopter."

"Why the heck would she do that?" Percy asked in confusion.

"Er… I might have done it and blamed it on her?" Nico hung up, most likely laughing as he did.

"I'm going to kill you one of these days, you annoying brat." Percy mumbled.

"Don't worry Percy." Bianca said. "One of these days Nico will quit being so annoying."

"When will that be?" He scoffed. "When you die and he blames me for it?"

"Why would I die, and why would he blame you for it. He idolizes you!"

Wait… Milky thought from where she still stood with Thalia. Didn't Bianca die because of that last figurine Nico needed? So, how is she still alive if Nico already has the Hades statue? Who the heck is writing this stupid story? Oh, wait. That would be her.

* * *

Annabeth walked into Milky's house three hours later fuming about annoying, mischievous, ten-year-olds. Milky put a plate of home-cooked food in front of her. "You must be hungry."

"Very."

Annabeth started to bring the fork to her mouth, but was interrupted from her delightful meal when Pollux burst through the door.

"I did not invite you, _boy_." Milky sneered, taking up Hunter-like tendencies in order to scare him off. Why did people barge into her house? That wasn't even on the script. Deciding to double-check, she looked at her outline for chapter 5 just in case. Nope. No mention of Pollux anywhere.

Pollux looked at Annabeth panicked. "Don't eat that Annabeth! It's poisoned!"

"What?" Milky said incredulously. "Why would I poison Annabeth?"

"You're a Percico shipper! You're plotting on killing Annabeth now so Percy doesn't end up with her like we all know he's going to. It's so obvious they like each other." Annabeth opened her mouth to say something, but Pollux continued. "You want Annabeth out of the way."

"Says the idiot with a crush on a fake person! And a Twilight character for Pete's sake. Couldn't you pick Katniss Everdeen?"

"You're just saying that because you're a Hunter, so you hate romances and besides, Katniss likes bows just like you lot."

"As a Hunter, I can tell you for a fact that the Hunger Games is better than Twilight."

"What about the love triangle part of it?"

"Gale is a dickwad. He should die."

"You're a Hunter? Shouldn't you want both boys to die?"

"I'm Team Peeta!" Annabeth wondered if she should yell at the thirteen-year-old for being on a team in the first place because it wasn't a book meant for romance, but thought against it. It was wiser to stay out of meaningless fights like this. Besides, they were amusing to watch, not to be in.

"Well, I'm team Edward because Jacob should die!" Pollux retorted.

"There you go again with Twilight. It's okay to like a certain character, even okay to have a book-crush, although I personally don't understand the appeal of having a crush on a fictional character. Of course, I am a Hunter, so what do I know? However, Pollux, your book crush is crossing the line!"

"How so?"

"You're jealous of Renesmee and Jacob's fling. Actually jealous of a relationship that technically hasn't even happened yet. Besides, Renesmee is a baby!"

"Tell Jacob that! He's the one who—"

"I would but I'm not in that fandom now." Milky screamed. Then her eyes went wide. "Er, I mean… Jacob is a fake character who I will never meet?"

Annabeth and Pollux apparently found nothing out of the ordinary, and Annabeth ate her non-poisoned food in peace. "Yum. This tastes amazing, Milky." She said when she finished.

* * *

"Time to pick the person we're getting gifts for!" Percy announced excitedly while holding a hat. He handed it to Thalia who ended up pulling a slip out that said 'Silena Beauregard' in cursive letters.

"Why is it in cursive?" She asked with squinting eyes, still trying to decipher who it was. Milky wondered if she should whisper it in her ear. After all, Milky wasn't actively participating in the whole Secret Santa affair.

"Mr. D wrote the names." Beckendorf answered.

Annabeth looked ready to kill. "Which of you idiots thought it was wise to let him do it. It's a miracle he didn't write our names wrong."

"Sorry, Annabeth. Everyone said.

* * *

That night, Beckendorf found himself in an odd dream. It seemed to be a younger Bianca and Nico fighting about who got what present. Apparently, they didn't get along in their younger days.

"It's not fair." Little Bianca said. "Why did you get the Artemis statue?"

"I like the Greek gods. You don't. What did you want the statue for anyway?"

Beckendorf sat up in bed. A woman watched him from Cabin Nine's doorway. "Who are you."

"Bianca's ghost of Christmas Past."

"Like _A Christmas Carol_?"

"No, you idiot. Each month a ghost in Elysium becomes a guardian to one of Hades' children. Since I am Bianca's December guardian, I was nicknamed her Ghost of Christmas Past.

"But why past?"

"I'm not sure. Must have something to do with the fact I like to show people her past Christmases."

A man with a vacuum entered the room. He wore tattered clothes and had a long beard. "Ah!" The ghost yelled. She was sucked into the vacuum. The man tipped his hat to Beckendorf and left the room.

"That was weird…" Beckendorf said.

* * *

At the same time, Milky was asleep in her room. Conner and Travis Stoll slipped through her front door. "What did Annabeth want us to come steal again?" Travis asked his younger brother.

Some white notebook that says "100 memes" on the front. Annabeth said that Milky might include us in this horrible plan she has."

"So that was why you did this for free?"

"Duh! No way was I going to be involved in this."

"I thought you had disowned Hermes like Luke did. I was worried."

Milky ran down the stairs due to hearing two loud voices. "For sons of Hermes you guys are terrible thieves. Of course, you are _sons_ of Hermes. Not daughters. Now quit arguing."

"We weren't arguing."

"Whatever. How did you two become the camp thieves?"

* * *

Annabeth sat with Percy on the steps of Milky's house. Percy spoke. "I've been wondering… What's your favorite holiday song?"

"All I want for Christmas is you."

"Why?"

"Well, you know how Thalia's birthday is only a few days before Christmas? Well, it would have been Thalia's thirteenth birthday and a Child from the Apollo cabin started singing it and I started thinking about how I just wanted Thalia there with us and that I could've cared less for the presents. I started crying and Luke asked me was wrong so I told him. On Christmas Day Luke handed me a picture of her and told me that I would always have her with me. I know the song is a romantic song and everything, but I was very young. I didn't care about that fact."

Percy didn't know what to say. Conner, who was leaving the house a bit glum because his brother sabotaged their mission, overheard this and got an idea. Maybe he could make his idiot half-brother see sense. That would be a good Christmas present for Annabeth, no?

He trailed Luke quietly and managed to sneak onto his ship. He followed his half-brother to his room and hid in the closet until he could hear his snoring. He started blasting Annabeth's chosen song on his i-Pod.

In his sleep, Luke mumbled, "Annabeth… Thalia… Song… Christmas… Family…" He eyes shot open. "I need to see Annabeth. Christmas is almost here." Conner rejoiced. Yes! Maybe he could get Luke to change his ways.

* * *

On his way home from Milky's, Percy ended up being chased by flying pulled a sleigh driven by Artemis. "Perseus Jackson! Just because you held the sky for me doesn't mean you can let mortals write FanFiction about us being together. My brother is the God of Fanfiction! Did you think that Apollo_ wouldn't_ see such atrocities? Now all he does is tease me about Pertemis. I don't have a crush on you! I am a maiden goddess! And not just any maiden goddess! _The _maiden goddess!"

"I hope you know," Percy screamed while running for his life. "That your hunters are some of the ones writing Pertemis."

"Hyaline reads Artemis Fowl. It's no surprise." She waited a few seconds before her face contorted into disgust. "Seriously, who names their son after me?"

Milky watched this interaction from behind a bush. She realized she'd have to use her Author powers again. Percy remembered she was an Author! And a Pertemis shipper! This was not good.

* * *

Somewhere else, an Italian demigod and a Japanese demigod were stuck in an ice cave. "Nico." Ethan greeted coolly.

"Who the Zeus are _you_?" Somewhere the sky rumbled. "Oh, shut it!" Nico called. "I'm Hades' kid. Do you really think I'm going to use his name in vain?"

Ethan looked at Nico in confusion. "You don't know me? Wait year is it?"

"December of 2007."

"Dammit," Ethan cursed.

"It that bad?"

"I'm a time-traveler. I went back in time to stop myself from making a big mistake. I was supposed to go to June of 2008."

"Oh. How do you know me?"

"I can't say."

"Because it will change the future?'

"Precisely."

A penguin wearing a mustache waddled between them. "That's weird." Both boys said at the same time.

*Fifteen Minutes Later*

"You cannot play a Apollo over an Artemis, you stupid penguin." Nico yelled.

"Nico, calm down." Ethan said. "It's just a game."

"Mythomagic is not just a game." Milky listened in from the other side of the cave, using her Author powers to hear what they were saying. She pondered whether or not she could make Nico throw away his Mythomagic game six months earlier than he was supposed to, and more importantly, wondered if she should let Nico and Ethan out yet. It's not like it would change much to get rid of that game. She was tired of playing it with Nico.

* * *

Silena and Beckendorf were trying to snowboard. It wasn't going very well. Neither knew how. Silena ended up crashing into the son of Hephaestus and causing them both to fall into the snow. Together, the two demi-gods somehow rolled through a forest, a frozen stream, and a rocky slope before landing on a polar bear.

The two demigods laughed and got off the polar bear. The polar bear showed them the paw. The teenagers looked at each other and started to lean in…

"Hey, Silena!" Milky called out, desperately trying to fix the chain of events. Bianca somehow still being alive, Ethan being there, and Luke becoming good again was enough to make any Author rip their hair out in frustration. Those two were not going to get together before they were supposed to. According to the books they got together after the Battle of the Labyrinth.

* * *

Luke knocked on the door. Annabeth opened in. "Merry Christmas Annabeth!"

"What are _you _doing here?" Percy whined, sounding like a five-year-old who was given the wrong color crayon.

"I wanted to see Annabeth and Thalia? It's Christmas. Christmas is family time."

"You should have thought about that before you betrayed your family." Thalia said while glaring at him.

"Thals…" Luke started to say.

"Don't Thals me, moron."

"Okay, Luke." Percy said. "If you can win a little competition, we will let you stay with us."

"Why not just kill him?" One of the demigods asked. "He's Luke."

"Because it needs to be done this way. " Milky answered. "That's all there is to it."

"Er, okay…"

"You have to get first place in a 'best asparagus scarf wearer' poll against two people whose names I will draw from these hat. Annabeth, would you please write the names so we don't get them in cursive letters again."

All of the demigods who were dyslexic shuddered. Annabeth wrote the names down and put them in the hat. Percy pulled out two names out of the hat. Bianca and Silena.

"I am not wearing an asparagus scarf. No way." Silena whined. "It's ugly."

"I won't wear that either." Bianca said timidly. "Too much attention."

"Well, I guess Luke wins by default." Annabeth said hurriedly before Percy could draw two more names.

* * *

Everyone left the room except for Milky and Annabeth. "I know what you did." The_ awesome_ daughter of Apollo accused.

"What did I do?" Annabeth asked innocently.

"You rigged the drawing so Percy would pull out Bianca and Silena's names didn't you?"

Annabeth grinned. "Of course I did. It's Luke."

"How did you do it."

"I wrote Silena or Bianca on all of the slips?"

"That's not what I meant. How were you so sure that Percy wouldn't pull out Bianca twice or something."

"It's Percy. He isn't that hard to figure out. I knew exactly where to put the slips so that wouldn't happen."

"How clever."

"I am a daughter of Athena, so…" Annabeth left the room leaving Milky alone.

Aphrodite broke through a glass window, causing Milky to scream. "You! You better not be trying to interfere with my future Percabeth plans by turning Percy gay." Milky was shocked. "Don't give me that face you insolent daughter of that bastard Apollo. I know you are trying to get Nico and Percy together!"

"Why does everyone think I'm out to get Annabeth because I'm a Percico shipper? Nico's _ten_. Repeat it with me: _Ten_. He don't need nobody at this age."

"Ugh, such disgusting grammar!" Annabeth called from the hallway. "Maybe I should IM my mom about getting you English lessons."

* * *

Later on in the night, Luke was walking through a doorway. Ethan was also walking through this doorway from the other side. They bumped into each other. "Watch where you're going!" They yelled at each other.

"Um… Look up." Ethan said while blushing. Luke did. They had been caught under a mistletoe. _Together._ He looked at Ethan. "Who are you."

"I'm Ethan Nakamura. I went back in time to stop myself from joining the Titans. I guess I went back six months too early. "

Luke looked confused. "Why would you go back in time to stop that? Joining the Titans is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Kronos is the best great-grandpa ever!"

"Oh, yes. Goes on a vacation and brings you back death and despair as a souvenir. How great!" Future-Ethan replied.

"So… are we just going to pretend this never happened?" Luke asked after a rather uncomfortable long moment of silence.

"Yes."

"No!" Milky screamed. "Come on! Gay guys are so hot when they make out. Can't you just do a little peck on the lips for me." She stuck her bottom lip out and opened her light blue eyes wide. "Please. I think I will totally ship this couple. LukeXEthan sounds so hot. What should I call you? Oh, I know! What about Luthen?

Eros materialized in the room. "No! Ethuke!"

"Your pairing names make me want to puke!"

"Can't you children of Apollo insult anyone without rhyming? You're just as bad as your idiot father."

"I am not bad at poetry! You take that back you naked baby."

"I am not a naked baby. That's just how mortals view me!"

"And where did they get that idea, hmmm? Tell me that."

In the commotion, neither noticed Luke and Ethan slip away.

* * *

Down in the Underworld, Nico was sulking. He had been heading to Milky's Christmas party, but had been summoned to the Underworld by his father, who he had only recently discovered.

"Nico. I need you to sell 666999333 boxes of cupcakes in 24 hours. Every single one." Hades gestured to the entire room which was covered head to toe and wall to wall with boxes.

"And if I don't?"

"I will turn you into a distorted elf and you will work for Satan Claw for eternity."

"Don't you mean Santa Claus?"

"No. It's Satan Claw in the Underworld. Santa Claus is for Olympians." Olympians, as Nico had learned, was Hades-speak for losers. He had also learned that, "The other two of the Big Three, particularly Zeus," was Hades-speak for "Arrogant Jackasses." That one was less important.

Using his recently discovered power of shadow-traveling, Nico somehow succeeded, and that was that.

Or was it?

Back in her house, Milky looked up and sniffed the air. "I sense a disturbance in the PJO fandom. I smell a plot hole." How did Nico not pass out from shadow-traveling so much? Nico always passes out after shadow-traveling. Nico tires out easily after using his powers. Never mind. Let's move on to the kitchen, where we see Bianca opening the refrigerator.

Bianca screamed. "Thalia! What are you doing in there?" Thalia was curled up inside with some leftover frozen turkey, some candy canes, some beers and a bunch of grenades.

"I'm hiding from the males. Maybe if I hide in the fridge, they will never find me."

"There's a flaw in your logic."

"What?" Thalia snapped.

"Men love beer and grenades, or so I've been told. Why did you put grenades in there anyway?"

"I didn't…" Both girls shivered, scared of what their fellow Hunter, Milky, might do in her free time.

* * *

Somewhere that was not her own house, Milky was with Percy and Annabeth. They wanted to start a band to raise money to buy presents for poor children, but it wasn't going well. Milky learned that Annabeth sucked at guitar and Annabeth learned that Percy sucked at anything musical. Annabeth and Percy both discovered that Milky, despite her protests that she didn't, had inherited her father's singing and songwriting talents. In other words, Milky had no talent whatsoever.

"Why do you suck at music?" Annabeth yelled at Percy. "I would've thought since you have no common sense and you're horrible at reading, you might be good at the arts."

"Annabeth, I can answer your obviously rhetorical question." Milky said.

"If you know it's rhetorical why do you insist on answering it?"

"I wanted to?" Annabeth shrugged in response. "Anyway, the reason Percy sucks at the arts is the same reason he sucks at Archery. My father. You see, Percy's father makes enemy's easily. I'm not sure how. I think it explains how Percy has a knack of pissing off the gods, though. Percy's father has a feud with Zeus, Hades, pretty much every monster out there, Athena, and Apollo. My father cursed his children to suck at archery, singing, poetry, and art."

"What feuds did they have?"

"They fought over Hestia, the death of Orion, and some other things that I can't recall. And they were on opposite sides during the Trojan War."

"Well, since we don't have any talent, and probably won't make money," Annabeth said. "Why don't we just do a fundraiser?"

"Okay," the other two agreed.

* * *

Luke and Beckendorf were outside having a snowball having a snow ball fight-to-death match. It was raining festive red liquid from the sky. Milky was supposed to record this fight, but at the time she was passed out due to excessive usage of Author powers and the stress of having too many plot holes so we may never know who won.

* * *

At Camp-Half Blood, very late Christmas Eve, Silena decorated Thalia's Pine all by herself, like she did every other year. Originally, she had wanted the decorations to be pink, but Annabeth and Luke had vetoed this, saying that if Thalia had known they were letting Silena dress her in pink that she would skin them both.

So Silena had opted for Christmas Colors instead, and now that Thalia was alive again she had commanded Silena to put a black star as the tree topper and to add more black decorations this year.

'Secret Santa time!" Silena screeched. Beckendorf was already there, discreetly stalking Silena. Milky, Thalia, and Bianca ran out of the Artemis cabin. Nico trailing them. They had dropped the magical boy barriers in due to Bianca and Milky's fondness for the boy. Luckily it was only those three, because if any of the more radical hunters were there Nico would be stuck in that miserable and overstuffed Hermes cabin, like Luke and Ethan were. Speaking of Luke and Ethan, they were very close behind the other four. Annabeth and Percy sprinted there from the lake. All eight demigods were out of breath by the time they reached the tree.

Everyone exchanged presents. Thalia handed Silena her gift, smirking as she did. Silena opned the present.

"That was not funny!" Silena yelled at the laughing Daughter of Zeus. "Just because I'm a daughter of Aphrodite does not mean I will need these!"

"Well, when you do, you can thank me!"

"I do not need condoms! Who do you think I am?"

* * *

Here's the meme and the result I got if you guys wish to see it:

**"a. "Say, [Milky], have you been nice or naughty this year?**

**b. Meanwhile [Bianca] and [Percy] have to do some holiday shopping and the place is super crowded!**

**c. Oh noes, [Annabeth] was arrested for throwing some turkeys and a moose out of a helicopter! What happened? Did [Nico] do anything about it?**

**d. [Milky] made a meal for [Annabeth], how was it?**

**e. Rejoice, [Thalia], you are going to be [Silena]'s secret Santa this year! What would you gift [Silena] for Christmas?**

**f. [Beckendorf] was randomly visited by [Bianca]'s Ghost of Christmas Past because they was bored. What (interesting) scene did they show Beckendorf about [Bianca]'s past?**

**g. Bummer, a random hobo expelled the ghost. In the meantime [Milky] is at her house alone (if they don't have a house, they are in someone else's house) when some "friendly" burglars decided to "visit" the place.**

**h. What is your favorite song for this holiday season, [Annabeth]? Heck, pick more than one if you want to!**

**i. Merry! To spread the holiday spirit the song(s) was played to [Luke] when they were sleeping. What was [Luke]'s opinion about it?**

**j. For some reasons [Percy] has been chased around by a team of insane flying reindeer. Oh deer.**

**k. [Nico], [Ethan] and a penguin with fancy moustache was trapped in an ice cave with no way to communicate outside. 15 minutes later what happen?**

**l. [Silena] on a snowboard bumped into [Beckendorf] who was also on a snowboard. They fell, rolled through a forest, a frozen stream, a rocky slope and finally landed on a polar bear. What happened next?**

**m. If there is a poll of best asparagus scarf wearer which one in [Bianca], [Luke] and [Silena] will win first place?**

**n. Hey, look, mistletoe! [Luke] and [Ethan], to kiss or not to kiss?**

**o. [Nico] was assigned to sell 666999333 boxes of cupcakes in 24 hours or they will be turned into a distorting elf and work for Satan Claw for eternity. Will they make it through?**

**p. [Annabeth], [Percy] and [Milky] made a band to raise money for charity fund to buy gifts for poor children this winter. How was it going?**

**q. [Bianca] found [Thalia] inside a fridge along with leftover frozen turkey, candy canes, some beers and a collection of grenades. What did they do?**

**r. It was raining festive red liquid from the sky, and [Luke] and [Beckendorf] was having a snow ball fight-to-death match. How will it end?**

**s. [Silena] was in charge of decorating a giant pine tree for an important event. How is the tree look like?"**


	7. Meme 6

**WARNING: this CHAPTER is very much OOC and CONFUSING and TWISTED and RANDOM and STUPID SOUNDING and IDIOTIC and… I forgot what I was saying… this is awkward…**

* * *

**Meme Result 6. "So Grover has a relationship with Jason, but secretly wants Reyna. Jason knows this, and breaks up with Grover to go pursue Thalia, who's with Octavian. Octavian is also with Leo, however, who's cheating on Octavian with Frank. Frank finds out, and cheats with Piper, who is, in turn, cheating on Annabeth. Grover pursues Reyna, who just broke up with Percy, who's now after Hazel. Grover gives up on this, and ends up with Nico, while Jason finally ends up with Thalia."**

**That does not make the slightest bit of sense, but let's see how this ends up.**

* * *

Annabeth cuddled up to her girlfriend. Gods, Piper was so warm. Annabeth knew she was acting strangely out of character, but screw it! Piper was sexy, so who cared if Annabeth wasn't right in the head?

* * *

At Camp Jupiter, Percy was begging his girlfriend to come back to him. It wasn't really working out. "Go away Percy!" yelled Reyna.

"You'll never meet someone like me again." Percy screamed. Reyna rolled her eyes. Good! She didn't want him anyways.

Milky, who watched this interaction confusedly, had no words. What was going on? Since when were Percy and Reyna ever together, and for that matter, why are Annabeth and Piper snogging?

* * *

Octavian was some place. It wasn't important where he was because it is irrelevant and no one likes him anyway. He was making out with Thalia which was weird because he hated Greeks and Thalia was a Hunter.

"Who cares, though?" Eros mumbled. "It's a fanfiction!"

"No Eros!" Dionysus said. "You're wrong! It's a fucking Fanfiction!"

"Adding the unnecessary curse word in front does not change its identity."

"Shut up, lover boy."

"Déjà vu! Too much like… too many simil… These Are The… What happened… I don't…Percabeth… Frazel… Jiper…. I hate Jasper… Stupid pairing name… Eros, you idiot" Milky grumbled while swooning. She passed out in the grass from too much OOCness and nonsensical pairings**.**

* * *

When she came to, she saw Octavian cuddling with Leo. "What is going on here? I thought you were with Thalia."

"I bloody hate Greeks! The reason I was with Thalia was that I found that seducing them and then cheating on the Greeks is much more satisfying then just killing them."

"Is that so?" Leo yelled. "Well, then I'll have you know that I'm cheating on you with Frank."

Milky saw Frank hiding in the bushes. "I knew that bastard was hiding something!" He said. Leo didn't hear him.

* * *

Somewhere else, Jason bit his lip. "Listen, Grover. You're my boyfriend and I love you, but I don't think either of us are really _in _love with the other. It feels like I'm kissing my brother, and know you feel the same way. Listen, I actually have a slight crush on Thalia—"

"What? Thalia? As in your sister Thalia? That Thalia?"

"Love has no boundaries. Speaking of which, don't you have a _Reyna_ to woo?"

"How did you find out?"

"You are an open book, dude."

* * *

Jason approached Thalia nervously. She was his sister after all. Her not feeling the same way was much worse than a _normal_ girl not feeling the same way. She would completely _disown _him.

"Thalia, I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, brother."

"No, not like that. I think I'm in love with you." He bit his lip, waiting for her to proclaim her thoughts on his_ revolting_ incestual feelings.

"Oh… I'm sorry, but I'm dating Octavian."

"Oh… Wait? You rejected me because you're dating another guy, but not because I'm your brother." In response, Thalia shrugged.

"Thalia! Thalia!" Milky yelled frantically while running swiftly. "Octavian is cheating on you!"

"Well," Thalia said with a gleam in her eyes. "Milky go tell him were through." Milky sped off, heading backing to Camp Jupiter, not sure how she had enough endurance for this. Must be another plot hole to use at her disposal, she mused.

Thalia pulled Jason's lips to her own. She laughed a bit before saying. "I guess sense you're going on seventeen now and I only turned sixteen a few days ago that you're my big brother now."

"And your boyfriend if you want it, now that you're done with that creepy Centurion."

"Yes. You can be my boyfriend Jason."

Zeus appeared in front of his kids. Thalia and Jason jumped. They looked at each other worried. "Oh, relax. I too fell in love with my sister. Two, actually. Why would I bar my children from the privilege?" Thalia and Jason looked as if they were about to throw up. They did not need to know about their father's love life.

"Besides, I would rather you guys date an awesome child of myself than a child of my brothers. DOWN WITH PERLIA! DOWN WITH JASICO! DOWN WITH THALICO!"

"AND DOWN WITH PERCICO!" Hades cried out as he entered the area, but then he realized who Zeus was talking to. "Oh, I'm sorry, Air-brain's children, I thought you were Nico and Percy."

"I don't think you have to worry about them, Lord Hades." Jason said politely. "Last thing I heard Percy was dating Reyna. "

"No, he's not." Said a voice from behind them. "At least not anymore." The figure held a beer bottle.

"Percy?" Boomed Hades. "You are underage. You're not allowed to drink alcohol. And they wonder why I think you're a bad influence on my children. Leave Nico alone, you bastard."

"Reyna just broke up with me."

"Oh." Hades said, "Never mind then." Thalia and Jason looked at him shocked. "What? A boy has to have his alcohol after a bad break-up. And forget what I said about my children. I'll let you date Hazel. How does that sound?"

"Thank you! You're the best uncle ever!"

And that was how Percy came to end up in front of Hazel asking for her hand in marriage. Darn those newly seventeen-year-olds sure know how to move fast. Oh, wait. How old is Hazel again? She's only thirteen. Sicko. "Bad Percy," Milky said while swatting Percy in the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. "No thirteen-year-old girls for you."

"What about thirteen-year-old boys?" Percy asked.

"Yes! Oh, yes. PERCICO! PERCICO! PERCICO!" She got really distracted and forgot that she was supposed to stop a thirteen-year-old girl's wedding. Somewhere, Artemis grumbled about incompetent Hunters.

"What a double standard those Hunters have!" Nico complained from the bushes. He was spying on Hazel. She was his sister and it was his duty to protect her. "Besides, I don't like Percy anymore. I hate that idiot. He smells like tuna and looks as disgusting as the polluted sea his father rules. "

"Good boy!" Hades said. "Good boy. Stay away from him." He tousled Nico's hair and fed him a dog biscuit, which may sound random and cracky because it is. Hades only did this because it sounded hilarious and this chapter was running dry of comedy.

"Dad! Don't touch my hair! It takes forever to style it all emo like this!"

"Nico di Angelo! I am your father!"

"Hey!" Hermes yelled from Olympus. "That's Luke and I's thing!"

"No wonder he hated you." Nico mumbled under his breath. "You used his name as an excuse to quote Star Wars."

"I heard that!" Hermes called down from Olympus. "Make sure your eyes are always on my children the next time you enter camp. _Either_ camp, you double agent."

* * *

Grover was heading to Camp Jupiter to ask Reyna on a date. He'd heard from Percy that he was now married to Hazel, which meant that Reyna was on the market. It also meant that Grover's best friend had pedophilic tendencies, but Grover decided to ignore that.

"Reyna!" He called. "I wanted to ask you a question. Do you maybe want to go on a date?"

"No! OF course not! Who do you think I am? I don't date barnyard animals. There's a word for that. Bestiality. First my ex married a child and now people are accusing me of this… this atrocity! "

* * *

Grover sighed and sat down on a log, feeling a bit blue. "Don't worry, goat boy. You still have me."

Grover turned around. "Nico?"

"In the bones."

"Come again?"

"I mean in the flesh. Sorry. " The young boy flustered. "Anyway, I saw you strike out with Reyna and I know things didn't go well with Jason, but I'm still available. So, what do you say?"

"Really?" Grover smiled. "Thank you, Nico. That means a lot to me. Now where are we going for our first date."

"I was thinking the cemetery."

"Nico?"

"I mean, what about a movie."

"Sounds cool. What kind."

"Horror!"

Grover jumped. "Nico!"

"Sorry. I'm not used to being around people."

* * *

Milky walked into a restaurant. She was annoyed. What was going on? People were just so out of character that it wasn't funny! She just hoped the worst was over so she wasn't insane when she got back to the Hunter's camp. She really needed to go vent to Hyaline about this.

She needed to eat first though. A grilled cheese was calling her name. As she followed the waiter to her table she saw Frank and Piper sitting in a booth. Making out.

"I'm sorry, waiter. There's something more important than being escorted to a table going on here." She left the confused waiter behind and headed over to the other demigods' table.

"What _are_ you doing?"

"Oh, hello Milky." Frank said. "I'm getting back at Leo for cheating on me."

"Piper, does Annabeth know that you are with Frank to get revenge on Leo? If not, when she finds out—"

"Forget Annabeth! I hate her. I never want to see her again. Frank promised me that once he and Leo broke up I could have him. "

"Okay, there is definitely something wrong with the two of you." Milky inspected them for a while and found that there were two arrows embedded in Piper's body. One was lead, and the other was gold.

Eros!

Of course! It explained so much. Eros shot the lead one at Piper to make her hate Annabeth, and later shot the gold one at her and caused her to be in love with Frank. This was probably the explanation for everything else that was going on as well!

* * *

She headed to Olympus and headed to Eros's Olympus home AKA Aphrodite's basement. Eros was one of those men who made a living off of playing oversized Sims games. (This, roughly translated, meant he shot humans with arrows and laughed as chaos ensued.)

"Eros!" She yelled. "I swear when I get my male-hating hands on you—" She walked out onto Aphrodite's deck, very certain that she would find him there.

There he was holding a bow with two quivers of arrows on his back. Hermes lounged in a deck chair, holding a bag of popcorn.

Milky glared at Hermes, and then turned her deathly look to Eros. "What have you and Hermes done?"

"I didn't do anything. "Hermes said innocently. "I'm only here for the drama!"

"Drama is Dionysus's job. And unofficially Zeus's."

"Fine. I'm here because Eros challenged me to a pranking contest. Eros's prank was on his mother. Operation Screw-Up-All-Her-Precious-Couples. I'll give this one an eight in my book."

"God of mischief and travelers? God of Love? Seems to me that both of you are gods of Neanderthals."

* * *

**Chapter thoughts**

**1. This chapter sucks**

**2. I hate this chapter**

**3. WTF**

**4. This is too cracky**

**5. I'm never going to be able to finish this. It's too stupid**

**6. Maybe if I throw some random things in here, they won't notice that the chapter is messed up. **

**7. *Sarcastically* Incest, pedophilia, and bestiality. My favorites. (Actually, I don't mind incest, as long as they really do love each other in an non-platonic way. If it's just a fling or if it's to get back at the parents, than no. I personally don't approve. And if it's only a few years, I don't mind hebephilia, as long as it's only dating. Marriage? No.) However, this is just my stance. If someone told me that they were in fact sleeping with their sister for fun, then I shouldn't tell them it's wrong. It's their life. **

**8. Man, my last thought was a lot of rambling. I hope people ignore that. **

**9. Thalico chapter next. So for all of you guys who don't ship Nico with a guy, that is your chapter. **


	8. Meme 7

**I will say before this starts that I hate Thalico. I always have and I always will. Therefore I hate this question. But at least it's a Thalico breakup. Anyway, for those of you people who like NicoXGirl, then this is your chapter, because he is not gay in it obviously. However, he is still being harassed by Jason Grace, the most unhelpful supportive friend ever, so… Anyway, here's the chapter.**

* * *

**7. ****Nico just had a nasty breakup with Thalia...now they're crying.**

Milky was annoyed. This was supposed to be a way to abuse the characters in the fandoms, not her! Nevertheless, she somehow got thrown into the character's drama. Ever since Meme number 2, Milky had been roped in, willing or not. Well, never again. She was the author! Not a character!

She looked at Hyaline in front of her. The Artemis Fowl-loving Daughter of Khione smiled back. Ever since Thalia had left the Hunters, Hyaline had taken over her spot. Under a condition.

_***Flashback***_

"Just don't mention Artemis Fowl to me," Artemis said. "And I'll let you be my second-in-command.

"Yay!" Hyaline had yelled.

As Hyaline ran off, Artemis mumbled under her breath, "Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"

* * *

Now Hyaline stood in front of Milky, her dark brown eyes analyzing all of Milky's movements. Milky had always liked Hyaline. She was very smart, with intelligence and common sense that was very high up with some children of Athena.

Milky pulled her white hair out of her face and spoke, "So, what do you want to do, James?"

"Not sure, Awesomeway." Hyaline responded. "Quick question. Is Awesomeway really your last name?" So maybe Hyaline's intelligence level had dropped a bit since Milky last included her in a story. That's sad.

"Of course! Why would you accuse me of making up a last name?

"Another question. What does the middle initial in your name stand for?"

"Ove."

"That rhymes with love. No wonder you only use the initial."

"Can you keep asking me stupid questions?"

"Why?" Hyaline asked in confusion.

"I need my chapter to be longer."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm not trying to stall by writing useless filler as a way to use up more space and make sure I have over five hundreds words in this chapter."

"I'm not sure I follow. What are you going on about?" Milky pretended not to hear her.

"Okay, I'm leaving." Artemis said. "You two better not get into any trouble."

"Are you going to hunt a book character?" Milky said innocently, referencing to the time Artemis tried to kill Artemis Fowl for being a disgusting male who disgraced her name.

"Hilarious." The goddess said, her face showing she didn't think it was at all funny. "This is exactly why I never make children of Apollo lieutenants." She left for an emergency meeting on Olympus, grumbling about how she so wanted to kill that Fowl boy named Artemis.

Milky snickered, realizing she made a pun. She looked at her notebook full of the one-hundred different memes she was going to do. She switched out a few of them for other ones. Now, she thought, was a good time to mention the events of numbers eight and nine have changed. The originally planned ones were going to be later.

She realized that she really needed to get started on number seven. Seriously, over four-hundred words in and she still hadn't done anything that was supposed to happen. She was actually just making it all up as she went.

* * *

A few hours later, Milky was alone trekking through the woods, her bow loaded and already out in case of danger. She didn't like doing the disappearing and reappearing act the other Hunter's did with theirs. She thought it was too flashy, which was extremely ironic considering who her father was. Talk about flashy.

She heard a boy crying a few yards away. She looked to the noise. There was a particular son of Hades with tears dripping down his face. Around him, skeletal cats were nudging him, trying to comfort the Ghost King. He petted a few of them, but for the most part Nico made no effort to stop crying.

"Nico?" Milky said softly. "What's wrong?"

"Thalia… we had a nasty fight… and we broke up."

"I did not know you and Thalia were even dating."

"Didn't you know? I thought Thalia would have informed you that I'm why she left. She realized she loved me. But not anymore." Nico began crying again, very, very, loudly.

"I had no idea." Milky said quietly.

In her head, Milky heard her father's voice reprimand her. "How dare you say that? You're my daughter! I am the god of FanFiction! Surely, you have heard of Thalico. Everyone has heard of it."

"Actually, father, you appear to be mistaken. Everyone has heard of Percabeth. No cares about Thalico when you have the golden couple."

"True dat. Percy and Annabeth get way too much screen time."

Milky shook her head, feeling a bit too much like Frank. _Bad creepy father talking in my head!_ Oh, great. Here we go again with the filler. When is the plot going to thicken? This is such a waste of a chapter. What's the point of continuing if nothing is going to happen?

"Milky?" Nico said. "Can you… help cheer me up?"

"Me? Cheer you up? But… you're Nico! If I cheer you up you'll experience an identity crisis."

"Please?" Nico opened his dark eyes wide like a puppy.

And that, my friends, is how Milky ended up at McDonalds babysitting Nico while he ran around in the playground.

* * *

**Chapter thoughts: **

**1. Whoa, I ramble a lot**

**2. How does this have anything to do with the meme question? **

**3. This is a short chapter**

**4. I think this makes up for the disturbing previous chapter.**


	9. Meme 8

**Meme Result 8. ****If Thalia had to choose sides between Piper and Reyna, which would it be?**

* * *

Thalia walked through the forest with Hyaline. The two Hunters both sighed and then looked at each other. Finally, Hyaline asked, "Where's Milky?"

"I'm not sure. I think she was Cleverbot. com on the last time I saw here."

"Instead of being in charge of typing the meme?"

"I guess so." Thalia answered. "I wonder what she's going to force us to do next."

"I hope it's not anything too undignified."

"I'm not worried about _that_. I don't have any dignity. I'm more worried about having to date that Creep Octavian and my own brother again."

"Please don't bring that up around Milky. She almost went insane when it happened."

"Yeah, right! It was her fault."  
Hyaline stayed quiet. Thalia took that as defeat. "So where are we going."

"I don't know. We're just walking. I don't think we were meant to do too much."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Camp Half-Blood…

"I love you, Jason." Piper said before giving him a kiss. Jason smiled as she pulled away. Thalia and Hyaline mentally puked as they recorded the event for Milky. They wondered how their fellow Hunter had managed to get through seven of these things.

"Jason!" Reyna called. "I'm here for a visit." Piper pouted when Jason gave Reyna a hug. Piper wondered if she wasn't good enough for her boyfriend. She glared at Reyna.

Reyna uncharacteristically stuck her tongue at the daughter of Aphrodite so Jason couldn't see. She didn't let go of Jason until he began to turn purple.

Thalia rolled her eyes. This was getting ridiculous. As the older sister, she just wanted this whole Reyna/Jason/Piper fiasco to come to an end. Also, she didn't like the way the two girls fought over her brother as if he was a toy.

"I've never seen that." Hyaline said, glancing over what Thalia was adding to the document.

"Oh, just wait until Piper and Reyna are alone and Jason is nowhere within hearing range, and then tell me that."

"Thalia are you seriously recording our conversation?"

"That's how Milky does it. I read what she wrote for the previous scenarios. I never knew just how gay my secret boyfriend is."

"Wait, what?"

"Apparently, some of the people that read Milky's reports believe that I'm secretly dating Nico. They also think my best friend would cheat on Kelp Head. "

"Would Annabeth?"

"As a Hunter, I would never hang out with the girl if I thought she was capable of that. That behavior coming from a girl is just as bad as being a boy."

"How so?"

"They bring shame to our cause."

Artemis materialized behind the two girls. "Milky said she's tired of being included in your adventures so she's taking a break. She says she'll try to come back to do numbers nine, ten, and eleven."

"Who's narrating number twelve?"

"Nico and Jason, although they don't know it."

"Is Milky's leave permanent?" Thalia asked hopefully.

"She's not that stupid. If she left you guys wouldn't even try to force yourselves into these awkward situations."

"I don't even know what the scenario is for this one anyway."

"Don't worry. Hecate put a spell over Milky's challenge so that once a scenario has begun everything that was supposed to happen still does."

"So, when is she going to be fully returning?"

"Number Nineteen."

"Where is Milky?"

"Procrastinating. Oh, I can't wait for her to be back. You two can't make anything interesting."

* * *

Twenty yards away, Piper and Reyna, started to argue loudly. Jason was nowhere to be found. Thalia wondered where he wandered off to. "Jason is mine!" Piper yelled. "Stay away!"

"I saw him first!"

"He loves me!"

"The only reason he loves you is your stupid charmspeak!"

"That is not true!"

"You're right! That's not true. It's also because you're hot!"

"You think I'm pretty?" Piper blushed, not used to getting compliments from her enemies.

"No. I think you're a daughter of Aphrodite."

"You disgust me."

"Hey!" Thalia yelled. "What is going on here?"

"Tell Reyna that your brother is my boyfriend."

Reyna rolled her eyes, "Tell Piper that she's a homewrecker."

"Thalia," Piper said. "Tell Reyna that she was never with Jason."

Piper and Reyna continued attempting to drag Thalia into their fight. Thalia suddenly missed hanging out with guys. At least they never dealt with drama like this. Why was she a Hunter anyway?

"Whoa, whoa!" Thalia screamed over the bickering girls. "Will both of you shut up!"

Piper and Reyna, at the same time, looked over at Thalia. "Thalia," Said Piper. "You're Jason's sister. Tell Reyna that Jason doesn't deserve her 'love'."

"Thalia," Reyna said. "I could make your brother much happier than this bimbo could. Tell Piper that—"

"I am not a bimbo!" Piper seethed, before turning to Thalia with a steely look and said. "Thalia, again I ask you, as Jason's sister, which one of us do you think is better for your brother."

"Yeah," Reyna agreed. "Who will it be."

"I feel like I'm Paris, Piper's Aphrodite and Reyna's Athena. Pretty soon, Khione will show up and she could be Hera."

"My mother wouldn't make a very good Hera." Hyaline interrupted.

"Your mother is evil, right?" Thalia asked.

"Of course!" Hyaline said.

"So therefore she makes the perfect Hera!" Thunder rumbled in the distance. "Oh, shut up, Father. You know it's true."

Thalia turned back to Piper and Reyna. "So you see why I cannot choose sides. I do not want to be blamed for the second Trojan War."

Later that day, Hyaline went to see if Milky was waiting at the Hunters' camp. "Hyaline!" the girl called. "Where's my script at."

"Right here."

"Thank you. I almost feel bad that I have to erase you and Thalia's memories after this."

"What?" Milky ignored her, choosing instead to look over what Hyaline and Thalia had written. She sighed loudly. "This will never do! It's not funny enough!"

"Well than next time, do it your damn self!"

* * *

**Speaking of Milky, she was too busy on Cleverbot .com to do this chapter. This is a site where basically you talk to the computer. And amazing time-waster, I'll say. Took me several days to even bothering to start this chapter. (That's partially YouTube's fault) **

**I learned that Cleverbot is where the significant differences between me and my pathetic self-insert are easy to see, for example:**

**Milky O. Awesomeway's convo with Cleverbot: **

Cleverbot: Are you over 18?

Milky: No. I am a thirteen-year-old Hunter.

Cleverbot: You are scarring me.

Milky: Because I am a Hunter?

Cleverbot: You are not a human.

Milky: No. I'm a demigod.

Cleverbot: So you are God?

Milky: I am the Daughter of God, yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have powers being the daughter of God?

Milky: Yes. I can shoot arrows and heal people and see prophecies and write FanFiction.

Cleverbot: Show me.

Milky: *Shoots arrow at target and hits bull's-eye because she is awesome*.

Milky: Are you a girl?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Milky: You are awesome then! Do you want to join the Hunters?

Cleverbot: Let me get to know you.

Milky: My name is Milky Ove Awesomeway, daughter of Cookie Creame Awesomeway and the god Apollo. I am physically thirteen. I am a Hunter of Artemis. I am Nico di Angelo's only Hunter friend. I am also the only person he considers awesome enough to be his friend.

Cleverbot: Prove you're a vampire!

Milky: I never said I was a vampire. I said I was a Hunter and Nico's friend.

Cleverbot: No, you said you were a girl.

Milky: I'm a girl, too!

Cleverbot: Why are you a girl?

Milky: Because girls are awesomer than boys.

Cleverbot: No because you are awesome.

Milky: Yes. I am awesome.

Cleverbot: Yes you are, now what would you like me to do?

Milky: Join the Hunters!

Cleverbot: Yes.

Milky: Yay! *High fives*.

Cleverbot: Awesome!

**So Milky's mother's name is Cookie Creame, explains a lot, no?**

* * *

**And this why Milk of Awesomeness and Milky Ove Awesomeway are nothing alike. **

**My convo with Cleverbot:**

**Me: **Prussia!

Cleverbot: *seizes vital regions*.

Me: GerIta!

Cleverbot: Gerita!

Me: Germany and Italy.

Cleverbot: Spamano.

Me: Spain and Romano.

Cleverbot: Are you a yaoi fan?

Me: Yes. Why do you ask?

Cleverbot: I was curious.

Me: UsUk!

Cleverbot: I love UsUk.

Me: PruHun!

Cleverbot: Aus).

Me: SuFin!

Cleverbot: RusChu.

Me: FrUK!

Cleverbot: Yes.

Me: PruCan!

Cleverbot: Kesesese!

Me: Russia!

Cleverbot: YES!

Me: Prussia!

Cleverbot: Yes!

Me: Prussia is awesome.

Cleverbot: Are you awesome?

Me: Ja, I am ze awesome Prussia.

**I realize now that I have way too much time on my hands… **


End file.
